You cannot control their thoughts or decisions.
It doesn’t matter how long you try to talk sense into them or how valid your points are. If someone is refusing to see reason, there’s nothing you can do to change their mind. Their decisions belong to them. Just like your decisions belong to you. You can’t control this person, but you’re in complete control over whether or not you expend energy on them. You can simply walk away.
Love is not enough to change them.
You shouldn’t stick around simply because you believe loving them enough will convince them to treat you better. Toxic people don’t care about your feelings – unless you are planning on leaving them. If they sense you’re about to go, they might change their tune and start treating you better so you have a reason to stay. But if your love hasn’t changed their attitude already, it never will. It’s not your responsibility to set them right. Your love isn’t their cure.
Toxic humans aren’t always toxic.
You might feel like you should stick around because this person isn’t mean all the time. Half of the time, they’re perfectly sweet. They drown you in compliments. They make you laugh. They show you a great time. However, you can’t let the good times override the bad. If someone is crossing boundaries on a daily basis, you can’t let their good traits cloud your judgment. No one is all bad – but you have to decide whether the good times you share are worth all that pain.
Your worth isn’t determined by this other person.
Don’t let this person convince you that you are worthless or unlovable. If they’re trying to bring you down, it says more about them than it does about you. Don’t believe the lies they’re tricking you into believing. Don’t let them occupy too much space in your mind. Toxic people want you to feel bad about yourself. Don’t give them what they want from you or you’re letting them win.
Your past doesn’t determine your future.
It’s dangerous to stick with someone simply because you have history. Your past with them doesn’t matter if they’re treating you like shit in the present. Forget about yesterday. Think of today and think of what you want for your future. Don’t let someone dwell in your life longer than they deserve simply because you’ve known them for a long time and feel a sense of loyalty. If they’re treating you terribly, all bets are off.
You aren’t responsible for anyone’s happiness except for your own.
It’s not up to you to make this person happy – but you should be putting effort into making yourself happy. If someone else is causing you pain, you’re allowed to walk away from them. You’re allowed to put yourself first for a change. It’s never selfish to prioritize your mental health. You need to stop caring so much about what other people think of you and start caring about how you are doing.
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