Someone is either interested in you or they are not. Someone either wants to date you or they do not. Someone either believes you’re worth the effort or they do not. And, finally, someone either loves you or they do not.
This may seem like a reductive way of thinking about something as complex as human relationships, but sometimes simplicity is what is needed to truly understand something on a deeper, more profound level.
Oftentimes, relationships are far more straightforward than they initially appear. It is projections, egos, excuses, and wishful thinking that make everything so complicated.
But if you strip away the crap and finally get real with yourself, you’ll realize that it doesn’t really matter if they could love you one day. Or that they’re still healing from their breakup a few months ago. Or that you have an amazing connection but it’s just a bad time for them right now.
If you remove the reasons and only observe what the outcome is, you’ll realize the truth:
They don’t love you.
They’re heartbroken over someone else and therefore emotionally unavailable.
They’re not ready for a relationship and you are.
Love does not exist in hues of gray. Love is not something that requires coaxing, convincing, begging, or just a little more time to become reality. Whether someone loves you is not up to you.
You can hope that they’ll change their mind or that time will convince them to feel differently. You can shape shift into a version of “you” that you think they’d love back, but when you do this, you lose yourself. This is never a risk worth taking.
Please love yourself more than you love the idea of someone else. Stop knocking on abandoned doors. Stop begging for the bare minimum. Learn to live in what is, not what if.
Stop chasing people who don’t want to love you because it will only break your heart.
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